I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The power of my boobs compel you
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
