then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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