and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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