i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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