I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
