instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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