Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
