Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
