its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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