Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Two words: blizzard sex
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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