I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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