i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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