Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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