Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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