call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
