You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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