Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Welp...herpes.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize