Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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