Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
