I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Please don't give away my fajitas
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize