I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
