well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
