I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
