oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
