xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize