:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize