I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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