I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
