you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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