i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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