fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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