Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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