would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
