i need an iv and a liver transplant
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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