yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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