just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Everclear isn't food dammit
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
