where am i from again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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