If i could tip my vagina, i would.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
as a side note pls kill me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
