theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
