there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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