when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
