So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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