Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
