meet me or not, i'm out of control
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
