Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
