I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
