stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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