she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
