At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
