My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize