I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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