Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
