hotel room ftw
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
