Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
