it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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