.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
