So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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