doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize