I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sober January is a disaster.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
