these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
