youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
