I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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