Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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