i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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