I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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