my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize