I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
