Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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