The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
