I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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